September 7, 2009

• use my heart...?

  Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
  The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to
  Alice: I don't much care where.
  The Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
  Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.
  The Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.

  Here we go again, babbling about life.

  I've been doing some soul searching lately, the good ol' question of this life, like, what am I doing? where am I going? How long will it take me to get there? and all those bits and pieces of truth that you ultimately face.

  I seek my father for advices, and the guy gives very vauge guidances. All he tells me over and over again (x 1,000) is to "Use My Heart". (用心去做)

  Using my heart? I freaking am!! It's too vauge of a guidance to attain my goal, but somehow I do agree that it IS the core of every step I need to take to get to where I wanted.

  To analyze my frustration, I think I am suffering from a sort of "Fantacy-Reality aka La-La Land" effect, in which I fantasize how my future will become, I put in some sort of hardwork with the sole belief that it is going to work, and it hasn't.

  Perhaps I am too eager to see changes in my life, perhaps I am working hard the "wrong way", going on the wrong track. Either way, after the past year, I sure know enoguht that I have not been where I wanted to.

  I take a look at the possible factors that may have caused the failure I've created, and in the most part I take corrective actions, but there is very little change in results.

  So here I am, part dissapointed, part confused at the world I created, I wonder where I am going next? Is it too early to expect any result? What have I learned?

  I really don't know.

  I just know that I gotta do something, success won't just come to me, I need stay focused, stay positive, stay optimistic, stay happy, stay moving, all that...

  I'm not even tired, just...tired of staying the way I am.

  Walk on...

  • 5:56 am
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