August 29, 2010

• Not there yet

  “Seems like, street lights, glowing,
   happen to be just like moments, passing,
   in front of me so I hopped in, a cab and,
   I paid my fare see I know my destination,
   but I’m just not there in the streets…”
  
  The year 2010 is now at its 3rd quarter and I am about to turn 28 in less than 2 months. Christ, I really don’t want to be 28; I still feel like I’m 25, where did the 3 years go? I wouldn’t say I haven’t done much in the last three years, but it just doesn’t feel enough. I think this song perfectly displays the little sadness and emptiness in me.

  Sometimes I ask myself what do I do everyday to really push myself towards the place I want to be, well, admittedly I still seem to be living my life on a day-to-day basis; when I really think about it, it’s no wonder why I am still far away from my goals and dreams.

  I remember 3 years ago when I made the decision to come to Asia to work with my family, I told myself that I’d need at least 2 to 3 years to learn about this business enough to make sure whether it is something I want to do for the rest of my life.

  As it turns out, my family’s business was almost entirely different than I imagined – things really don’t go the way I imagined at all, had I not been here I would never realized just how much sacrafice and hardships my father had gone through to support the family in the States.

  And I ask myself whether I want to endure through all this hardships that my father went through, till today I still don’t know if I can. My long term goal is to obtain some sort of venue that can generate some sort of passive income for me without me physically being there everyday – things like real estate property or a business. And I just know that it’s very difficult to obtain these if I just worked some jobs in the States with a shitty Cal-state degree.

  Well actually, when it comes down in the end, it’s pointless to think about “what if” I quit right now and start all over again in the States, because it’s irresponsible to my family and above all, to myself. I think even though I am getting older, having less time to piss around the bush or “exploring the options”, I should at the very least finish what I started when I first came here. So my decision ultimately is to stay here in a long haul and acheive the goals I set up for myself, other wise I will never feel happy.

  —

  So having released the stress and sadness, life isn’t all bad really, I do have other things that I feel very happy and excited about. The first is that I am now a proud owner of a little property in Taiwan.

  Just last month I wired in almost all my money and applied a 70% loan to purchase a small apartment unit in Taoyuan, near where I used to live; my father is the man behind it that convinced me to invest in it because it is indeed one of the safest ways to generate passive income – and the current mortgage rate in Taiwan is amazingly low, plus the apartment is already occupied with tenants so the rent basically knocks out the interest payment, I will be paying a little bit extra for the principals but it’s nothing big really – comparing to my monthly spending on Starbucks and cigarettes at least!
  
  As for business, my goal of generating 3 times my current commission income this year is still out of sight; I make about the same commission income as last year. To accomplish this goal I have one sure way – but I feel reluctant to reveal it out in public, so let’s just say that I have a very clear way of making it happen, but it just requires a lot of time and patience and luck to really get the deal done. All in all, I am working on it and will not give up until it actually happens.

  Also, one thing I’ve always wanted to do I have finally started as of May 2010; well, I was always unhappy about my crooked teeth, so yep, I spent quite a lot of money and am now under Invsialign treatment – a supposedly invisible orthodontist device that straightens my teeth.

  

  Initially I feel very reluctant to do so because I didn’t want to go through extracting my teeth and the pain and looking even more boyish than I already do with the silly wires on my teeth; but after a little research I found Invisalign to be the solution. Surprisingly, Invisalign is convenient and painless – it’s transparent, no need for teeth extraction, I can take if off when I eat, and I practically don’t feel anything when I wear them, and above all, if all goes according with plan I’ll be done with the treatment by April 2011 – that’s less than 1 year! The downside of course is that it’s about 40% more expensive than conventional braces, but I thought “Fuck it, it’s for a life time.” so yeah, that’s that.

  —

  Well, that about sums up my 2010 so far, I still have a little less than 3 months to accomplish the goals I’ve set up for myself at the beginning of this year, I’m just going to go with the flow and do my best. Then of course Christmas comes and I will once again be in my F.T.W. mode. I miss all my homies back in the States; I miss Shadow so much, she doesn’t remember me I’m sure, I’m happy that she’s in good hands with Jenny; I miss living in Foster City, just chill and worry-free. Well until then, I need to go back to work!

  Till next time!

  • 11:52 pm
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