April 9, 2010

  • Be the change we wish to see in the world.

    Lately I've been hitting a few bumps at work, for the longest time I've been telling myself that whatever unpleasantness and frustration I experience at work or in life in general is the result of the sum of choices, thoughts, and actions I've made.

    And for the longest time I failed to implement this idea into my thoughts and actions. Often times all I feel is resentment and frustration. On the surface I take the blame, but in my mind I'd make up millions of reasons and excuses to justify my failure.

    It doesn't make me feel any better at all, failure is failure, a result of series of events and actions (or inactions) I take overtime. There may be some thing that I've done right, but it's like Basketball, making the basket is a score, a miss is a miss. Whether the ball was really, really close or a complete airball, in the score board it says the same thing: "Zero."

    At work, I handle a wide variety of clients and company partners, and through my observation, the successful ones never seem to bitch about anything. The incompetent ones make nothing but excuses - there are always critical factors affecting their performance at work that no one else could have foreseen.

    These factors can be small from: Traffic, Weather, to say, the Economy (don't we all love to use this one?), the Market, bad luck, bad timing... to down right "If you would've told me before hand!"

    Truth is, I'm disgusted by it. Nothing frustrates me more than when a problem occurs, people who were responsible (or even just partially responsible) for the situation give you nothing but these factors. They are even infuriated when you dare to raise doubts towards them - "What!? I've done my part, I've done all that I can! What do you want from me!?"

    What is it with these ego? It's the lamest thing. Maybe I've tamed all these people too damn much - by being a little Mr. Nice Guy all the time, hollering about brainless bullshit that is on the bottom list of the things I give a shit, so what? So people will like me more? So that I can feel better about myself? Or because I want people to be nice to me also?

    I'm tired of these bullshits that people give me when some shit happens and when we try to fix the problem, everyone who is involved trys their best redirect the fault to someone or something else - and worst of all, I am acting just like one of them - always feeling wronged by others, always feeling the need to justify and explain the results. Who really cares?  In the end, I'm just one of the millions of these dead beats who ain't never gonna make it. Until the day I do, it's all but an idea of who I wished I was.

    Well, tough shit man, I am not going to stop there with a big phat L on my forehead. So I am dedicating this post to my father - the one and only man who critisizes me 24 - 7 for every-single-God-Damned-thing that I do. No one else could better tell me how much better a man I could become. Even though sometimes you yell at me like a little baby because of your moodswings or just for the heck of it, I still appreciate it. I take back all the cursings I secrely muttered while you were yelling at me. I will either prove that you had been seriously wrong, or I will embrace your criticisms and take these shit to the next level.

    "Be the change we wish to see in the world." - Ghandi

    "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expect different results." - Albert Eistein

    "Life is a process. We are a process. The Universe is a process." - Unknown

    "There are two primary choices in life: To accept the situation as it is, or accpet the responsibility to change it." - Unknown

    Happy Mediocre Day!

    Till next time!